Connections
by d-kronk
Summary: GC Finding the one person you connect with can be the hardest journey... GC


Title: Connections

Author: Angie

Email: hill@grics.net

Rating: R

Disclaimers: CSI Crime Scene Investigation does not belong to me, they are 

the property of CBS, Alliance Atlantis, Jerry Bruckheimer, Anthony 

Zuiker, and the wonderful actors who portray them. 

Author's Notes: This fic started with a song stuck in my head. After annoying people with my incessant singing for days on end, I finally came up with a way to use it. This fic consists of snippets from Catherine's life. The scenes do not necessarily happen consecutively. Many thanks to Anne, Laeta and Suzanne for the beta work. Someday I'll remember to put in commas.

Spoilers: through season 3, just basic knowledge of the characters and plotlines.

Distribution: The GraveshiftCSI Homepage, www.graveshiftcsi.com

***

Why are there so many songs about rainbows   
And what's on the other side?   
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,   
And rainbows have nothing to hide. 

***

The harsh lights from the city blocked Catherine's view of the night sky, but that didn't stop her from staring skyward. Her mind recalled the many visions from her past as she sat atop her picnic table.

"Catherine? What the hell are you doing out here?"

She wanted to ignore her husband's voice, but the slight slurring told her that wasn't a favorable option. "I'm just watching the stars, Eddie," she replied, not turning around.

Eddie looked up, not believing his wife. "What are you talking about? You can't see the fucking stars." He quickly sat down next to Catherine, wrapping his arms around her. "If you want to watch the stars, why don't you lay down? I can definitely help you see a few stars." Eddie eased her down on the table top as he kissed his way down her neck.

"Get off of me, Eddie. We are not making love out here."

"Who said anything about making love? You know you want it, Cath."

She winced as she felt Eddie's weight shift on top of her, the bruises forming as his hands pulled her legs apart. "Eddie… don't."

"C'mon. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"What about the neighbors?"

"What about them? It's not like people haven't seen you before."

Eddie realized this was not the right thing to say when he found himself on the ground, watching Catherine slam the patio door. He quickly rose and followed her into the house. 

She had almost reached the safety of their bedroom when Eddie caught up to her. She felt herself being spun around as his hands tightened around her wrist. "Lindsey…"

"Is asleep, in her room," he whispered as he ground himself against his wife. "I want you. Now."

Realizing she was fighting a losing battle, Catherine wiggled out of his grasp and pulled them into the privacy of their bedroom, barely getting the door shut before Eddie ripped her shirt open.

~~~

So we've been told and some choose to believe it   
I know they're wrong, wait and see.   
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,   
The lovers, the dreamers and me.  
~~~

Catherine stormed into the locker room her eyes wide with fury, as she scanned the room. "Gil! Where the hell are you?" 

Gil slowly shut his locker and turned to see his co-workers hurrying for safety. "Did you want something, Cath?" 

Her anger grew at the calmness in his voice. "You son of a bitch! Why didn't you tell me? You knew, and you didn't say a word!"

Gil felt his eyes widen as he began to realize what Catherine was referencing. 

"Well?"

"I… I didn't know how to tell you."

"'You didn't know how to tell me'?" Catherine repeated in disbelief. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You wouldn't have believed me." 

The two stood in awkward silence, both staring at the other, waiting for something to be said.

Gil pointed towards the bench, motioning for Catherine to sit, knowing he had to explain his behavior. He took a seat next to Catherine, reaching to grasp her hand within his.

"It happened last week. I was working the Swanson case. You don't really want to hear all the details do you?" He tried to read her body language, but found himself at a loss for what she was trying to say. "There was a car, maybe 100 yards away. We could tell from the way it was moving that…"

"Stop!" she whispered harshly. "I don't want the details. I just want to know why. Why couldn't you tell me? Why did you have to let me walk in and find the two of them…"

Gil gently wrapped her in his arms, pulling her to his chest as the sound of her sobbing echoed through the locker room. His hand instinctively smoothed her hair as he placed gentle kisses to her forehead, waiting for her tears to subside.

"I'm so sorry, Cath. I should have said something. I just wasn't, I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to break your heart."

~~~

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered   
When wished on the morning star?   
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,   
And look what it's done so far. 

~~~

Catherine sat on the bench, gazing at the pictures in her locker. Her eyes locked onto Lindsey's image. The eternal happiness of the three year old, was long gone. Her happiness had been replaced by fear; fear of the unknown, as well as fear of the known. Catherine had always tried to shield her daughter from the harshness of life, and the fact that she wasn't there while Lindsey watched her father's lifeless body fall from the sinking car still tormented Catherine. She knew she wouldn't have been able to save Eddie. She had come to terms with that, but she could have protected their daughter, kept her innocence intact for a few more precious years. 

She quickly gathered her purse and jacket before shutting the locker door, spinning the dial on the lock and quickly testing the door before leaving the room. Her tired body quickly made its way to her destination, the route part of her routine by now.

Leaning against the door, she remained silent as she watched him work for a few minutes. "Gil? You coming?"

Gil looked up at the sound of her voice, the smile instinctively coming to his face as she came into focus. "Do you mind waiting a minute?" He continued as Catherine walked into the office and made herself comfortable in her chair. "I just have a couple more papers to sign, then it's two days off with my favorite girls. And I'm not bringing any paperwork home either."

~~~

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing   
And what do we think we might see?   
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,   
The lovers, the dreamers, and me. 

~~~

Catherine walked out onto the patio, her eyes taking in Gil's form on the steps. "Gil, what are you doing?"

He didn't answer right away, instead motioning for Catherine to join him. He felt her body settle in next to him before answering her question. "I'm watching the stars."

"You can't see the stars. The city lights are too bright."

"I've seen the stars enough to know what they look like. Just sit here with me, Cath. Imagine the stars with me."

Catherine jumped up and stood in front of Gil, watching the shock on his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked, perplexed at her sudden movements.

"Come on." 

Gil stubbornly remained seated, waiting for Catherine to fill him in on her plans. 

"You're not just going to blindly follow me, are you?" Catherine asked, the disappointment obvious in her voice.

"Is that what you want? You know I'll follow you anywhere…"

"You just want to know why." Catherine finished for him. She watched his face as he remained seated waiting for her explanation. "What you said, just now… about imagining the stars. I used to do that. It infuriated Eddie, but I couldn't help it. But you said it, and something just clicked in my mind. Maybe it's time."

"Time?"

"Your proposal."

Gil's eyes widened at her words. "I thought you said…"

"I know what I said. I also know you've never fully understood my feelings. Maybe I never understood them either. I've been on the other side of marriage. It was not what I had ever imagined, what I had been told marriage was like. I guess I was just scared you and I would turn into the hell that was my previous marriage."

Gil stood up and walked to Catherine. "I'm not Eddie, Cath."

"I know. Aren't all fears a little irrational? I guess I'm just being rational now."

"So are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Let's get married. Tonight. Right now."

~~~

All of us under its spell,   
We know that it's probably magic... 

~~~

  
Lindsey sat on the hood of the car watching the couple a mere ten feet away. The tired smile lit her face. Even her young eyes could see how happy they were, their smiles still bigger then she had ever seen. She wrapped the blanket closer to her as she continued to watch them dance, the stars in the desert sky illuminating their dance floor. 

They ended their dance, and the newly married couple returned to their daughter, smiling at the smile on her face. 

"Are you ready to go home, Lindsey?"

She nodded her reply as Gil lifted her into his arms and carried her to the back seat. The three returning home to begin their new lives.

~~~  
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name.   
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?   
The voice might be one and the same   
I've heard it too many times to ignore it   
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...   
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,   
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.   
~~~

Finis

~*~*~*~*

Author's notes part 2... Because I was told I should put the song credits after the fic, just to see if people recognized them. The song is "Rainbow Connections" sung by Kermit The Frog in the movie "The Muppet Movie." Don't ask me how I got the song stuck in my head, I haven't seen the movie in years. 


End file.
